Failure To Launch
(PG13)
"Failure to launch" is a pop-psychology term for a child's inability
or unwillingness to move out of his or her parent's house.
Apparently the parents are sometimes at fault as well. These days
it's easier to blame society in general and your parents in
particular for all of your faults. That way you don't have to take
responsibility for your shortcomings and you can go around acting
like a victim. Tripp (Matthew McConaughey) is a 35 year old who
still lives at home. Mom and Dad hire Paula (Sarah Jessica Lange), a
professional interventionist, who pretends to fall for these types
of men and gets them to move out of their parents' abodes. First of
all, isn't it kind of far fetched to imagine a 35 year old man still
living with his parents? It just doesn't happen. Secondly, Tripp
keeps getting bitten by creatures that are normally docile. Is this
supposed to be funny? Animal bites are certainly no laughing matter.
Have you ever been bitten by a disoriented skunk or a rabid dog? It
can really ruin your day. Despite the novel premise and a solid
cast, this film is pretty bad. The characters are mostly idiots, the
situations were too contrived and the dialogue alternates between
banal and nauseating. In short, this is a wonderful date movie.
There are many lulls which are perfect opportunities to try the
popcorn trick. Also starring Kathy Bates and Terry Bradshaw. 97
minutes.
The Family Stone
(PG-13)
A sixty-something couple's family comes home to celebrate Christmas
together. No one can stand their oldest son's fiancée. A somewhat
predictable tear-jerker that is saved by some great performances.
While this is not exactly Holiday Inn or It's A Wonderful
Life, I wish that I had seen The Family Stone in
mid-December instead of mid-January. Upon leaving the theater I
wanted to go home and bake a cake made of rainbows and smiles but
instead I decided to go to a liquor store for some tequila. Starring
Diane Keaton, Craig T. Nelson, Dermot Mulroney, Sarah Jessica Parker
(pick TWO names), Luke Wilson, Rachel McAdams and Claire Danes. 102
minutes.
 
Far From Heaven (PG13)
1950's America was an amazingly conformist and prejudiced society. Such
is the conservative climate in writer/director Todd Haynes'
Far From Heaven. The dialogue, music, sets, titles, color, editing,
photography and costumes are truly authentic. Julianne Moore and Dennis Quaid play
a Hartford, Connecticut couple who seem to have it all. The problem is, they have
some "dirty little secrets". 107 minutes.
Femme Fatale (R)
Director Brian DePalma, known for his stylish and sexy thrillers, shoots and scores with
his latest film,
Femme Fatale. The plot centers around 10 million dollars worth of diamonds that
are stolen from a woman during The Cannes Film Festival. The audience
and the characters are kept guessing as to what's really happening right up until
the very end. They say that the less talented an actress is, the more time she spends
shedding her clothing in front of the camera. Spokes-model Rebecca
Ptomaine-Staymoist
gets naked a real lot. She's remarkably bad. Nice looking though. That's Hollywood for
you. Also starring Antonio Banderas. 107 minutes.
Fever Pitch
(PG13)
A woman (Drew Barrymore) falls in love with a man (Jimmy Fallon) who
turns out to be a die-hard Boston Red Sox fan. This romantic comedy
had to be partially re-shot after the Sox finally became world champs
again in 2004. The laughs are sparse, there's little chemistry between
Fallon and Barrymore but the film works. Mostly because we get a
realistic glimpse of fanatic loyalty to a sports team and it's impact
on every day life. Not to mention some great scenes shot at venerable
Fenway Park. 98 minutes.
Firewall (PG13)
A security expert for a major financial institution (Harrison Ford)
is forced to help a group of crooks steal millions from his bank or
they will kill his kidnapped family. It used to be that casting
Harrison Ford in suspenseful action pictures such as Star Wars,
Raiders Of The Lost Arc, Blade Runner, Witness,
Presumed Innocent, Patriot Games and The
Fugitive was a slam dunk. Although Ford is beginning to be a bit
old for these types of roles I think that the problem here lies in
the screenplay. The story is too familiar, the characters spend too
much time at computer keyboards and the end is a laugh. Also
starring Paul Bettany (A Beautiful Mind), Virginia Madsen (Sideways),
Mary Lynn Rajskub ("The Larry Sanders Show"), Alan Arkin (The
In-Laws), Robert Forster (Mulholland Drive), Robert
Patrick (Terminator 2) and Carly Schroeder ("Lizzie
McGuire"). 120 minutes.
Flight Of The Phoenix (PG13)
A cargo plane carrying 12 passengers crash lands in the Gobi Desert.
The survivors struggle to build a new smaller craft out of the
wreckage and avoid hostile nomads. Formulaic but fun. Starring Dennis Quaid.
112 minutes.
Flightplan
(PG13)
A woman's young daughter goes missing on a jumbo jet traveling from
Germany to America. No one remembers seeing the girl, her name is
not on the passenger list and when the crew calls Germany they are
told that she died earlier in the week. Great premise. The first two
reels are very good but like the recent Red Eye, the film
loses credibility on the ground. Starring grim faced Jody Foster,
Peter Sarsgaard (my junior high wrestling coach made us wear those)
and Sean Bean. 95 minutes.
Following Sean
(not rated)
In 1969, Ralph Arlyck, a young film student living in the
Haight-Ashbury section of San Francisco, filmed an award winning
documentary about a four year old boy named Sean. Sean doesn't like
to wear shoes, enjoys running through the neighborhood streets,
smokes pot and hates the police! The Bay Area in 1969 was a hotbed
of political and cultural clashes between radical groups such as the
yippies and The Black Panthers versus "the establishment" with The
Vietnam War as a bloody backdrop. Amid dire predictions about Sean's
future, Arlyck went back thirty six years later to see what Sean and
his family were up to. I got the sense that in order to add some
contrast (and some length) to his film, Arlyck decided to add a
before and after look at his own Upstate New York family, as sort of
an afterthought. The most ironic thing about Following Sean is that
the look at the family Arlyck is the most poignant. Also starring
Jason Bateman as Jerry Garcia. 87 minutes.
40 Days And 40 Nights (R)
One of the great things about this country is that people are free to make movies like
this. Freedom is sexy. But make no mistake about it. It's this kind of entertainment
that those fundamentalist Islamic bastards point to when they say that Western
Civilization is wicked.
40 Days And 40 Nights focuses on Matt (Josh Hartnett), a twenty-something
ad-man who has a sex hang-up. Ever since he and his sex-pot girlfriend Nicole
(Vinessa Shaw) broke up, Matt has been haunted by visions of a "black hole" whenever
he has sex with his many partners. Matt likes to have sex but he feels as though the
best thing for him to do is to abstain from sex for the 40
day Lenten period. Word gets out and poor Matt must fend off sexual advances from many
sexy women who are "willing to do whatever it takes (have sex with him) to get the job
done." Masturbation is not allowed either, although it is talked about frequently.
Matt then meets another sexy young woman named Erica (Shannyn Sossamon) whom he really
likes. Erica wants to have sex with Matt and Matt wants to have sex with Erica but
Matt is not allowed to have sex until Easter. Then Nicole and her
fiancé (who it turns out is a sexual predator) split and Nicole shows up at Matt's
apartment and proposes that they have sex. Matt doesn't really want to have sex with
Nicole and if he has the sex and his friends find out about the sex, there will be a
problem because Matt's friends have started a pool to bet on how long he can go without
having sex. Sex, sex, sex, sex, sex. This film sucks. Also starring someone named
Monet Mazur. 93 sexy minutes.
The 40 Year-Old Virgin
(R)
He's 40 years old and never been laid. Like that's some big deal. It
was difficult for me to get to the mall for this one 'cause my dad
forgot to leave my allowance before he left for work and my mom
wouldn't let me use her car as punishment for staying out beyond
curfew on Saturday. Luckily, my best friend picked me up and paid
for the film and snacks. A much funnier and dirtier movie than I was
expecting. DO NOT GO SEE THIS WITH YOUR MOTHER! Starring Steve
Carell and Catherine Keener (The Interpreter, The Ballad Of Jack
And Rose). 116 minutes.
The Four Feathers (PG13)
A British Officer resigns his commission in order to stay with his fiance just after war in
The Sudan is declared in The Four Feathers. He is subsequently branded a coward by his fellow
soldiers and given the heave ho by his sweetheart and family. Pretty boy Heath Ledger
(Isn't that a candy bar accounting method?) is adequate but Kate Hudson (Almost Famous) just
doesn't deliver the goods. Set in the 1880's, Feathers is hokey and long but it is just
interesting enough to recommend. High praise indeed. 128 minutes.
Frailty (R)
Religious fanatics that are mentally unstable, over zealous, misinformed or just plain
stupid have always scared me more than ghosts, goblins or vampires. That's because these
people have existed throughout history and have caused tremendous instability and human
suffering in the name of their particular "God". Frailty is the chilling saga of a man
(Bill Paxton) who believes that God has told him to kill certain people who are in fact
not people, but demons. This fine film is gory and depressing. If you want to get out of
your current relationship, take your mate to dinner at Fresno's and then to this movie.
Also starring Powers Boothe (Don't you love that name?) and Mathew
McConaughey.
100 minutes.
Friends With Money
(R)
A film about wealthy, self-obsessed Americans who are never
satisfied. You know the type. They have every material thing that
they could ever want and many of them are still not happy. They pick
at their spouses, at their friends and at themselves. A well made
movie but who really cares? Although her range is quite limited (her
essence or "spine" never changes), Jennifer Aniston is a better
actress than you might expect. Also starring the currently
ubiquitous Catherine Keener (Death To Smoochy, The Ballad
Of Jack And Rose, The Interpreter, The 40 Year Old
Virgin and Capote), Frances McDoormat, and Joan Cusack.
88 minutes.
From Hell (R)
Johnny Depp plays Inspector Abberline, an opium smoking, absinthe swilling, 19th Century London
sleuth hot on the trail of Jack The Ripper in From Hell. The durable Ripper tale gets a
political cover-up twist in this gruesome (What did I expect?) update. Depp brings a certain
depth to his character and Heather Graham (Boogie Nights) never breaks a sweat as an English
prostitute. This film is dark, mysterious, violent, expertly crafted and depressing. Watching
repeated throat slashings and disembowelments has never been my idea of a fun night out, no
matter how well a film is made. I prefer the Time After Time slasher saga. Also starring
Ian Holm and Robbie Coltrane. Bon Appetite!
Fun With Dick And Jane
(PG13)
A corporate lackey (Jim Carrey) gets promoted to vice president just
as the company goes bankrupt. Once all of their savings are spent,
he and his wife (Tea Leoni) embark on a crime spree that culminates
with the CEO's (Sir Alec Baldwin) Grand Cayman account. While they
are quite good, Carrey, Leoni and Baldwin have played similar roles
countless times and the story is just a modern re-make of the flimsy
1977 original. 90 minutes.
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